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Stereotype # 1: Look he/she has changed after he/she went to the city, abroad, or some other place. We mean to say, he has become different in an undesirable or unconventional way.
Stereotype # 2: Be yourself, don’t change yourself for anyone. This is used to talk about relationships in the sense that others should accept you the way you are. You are already good, and therefore, don’t need to change whatsoever! One should love you as you are, if they deserve you, is the essence.
In the first case, what the people don’t understand is that after going somewhere the circumstances change, the life equations change, people’s knowledge level changes, and so on. As a result, their behavior also changes which is completely normal. So, when people goes somewhere and comes as a changed person appreciate what they have managed to become rather than criticize them.
In the second case, I understand the reason for “being oneself” and thus resisting to change one’s behavior and personality. However, if you don’t want change, why do you want to engage in relationships? After all, you are completely satisfied with your current life as you don’t want any change! Why seek a partner?
For example, you smoke before you are into a relationship and your partner wants you to quit. Should you insist on being yourself? Is it wrong for your partner to think of something good for yourself? Smoking and such habits are signs of frustration, dissatisfaction, and the like with our current life. Should you not change yourself into a more cheerful and a better person for the sake of your partner and yourself?
Although, the philosophy of being oneself has some points, is it not necessary to change for being oneself? Do you seriously think that changing means being someone else or being like someone else? There are many other ways to change. In fact, in our real life, we are constantly changing and molding into different shapes and colors according to the rhythms of our life.
Change is not meant to be good always, but it is an only constant thing of our life. Everything changes. So, why not accept it rather than resisting it?
More often than not, we are changing for ourselves rather than for others. For example, you want to be in a relationship with a beautiful girl or a decent guy. In order to fulfill this want, you try to entice them by changing yourself into a different person, a better person of yourself. Is that change for yourself or for that other person, who is often unaware that you are changing for them?
Well, I don’t want to be verbose. I just meant to say change is good and often romantic. It is necessary. We cannot live a same type of live always, and we always in fact seek change. Hence, it is necessary for us to develop a positive attitude towards change and have a broader vision about it.